Let’s talk about the parent/coach relationship. As a former Athletic Director, I know first-hand how difficult the parent/coach relationship can be at times. I believe this, coaches love kids, and they are sincerely trying to develop character and build self-esteem.

They do that by stressing the importance of hard work, commitment, encouragement, teamwork and how to be a good sport regardless of the final score.

Life skills are being taught and developed every day, and the coach/parent relationship can be a wonderful tool in focusing on the things that matter.

Coaches are professionals, just like many parents are accountants, dentists, entrepreneurs, or engineers. The coach studies the game through clinics, videos, magazines, visiting colleges, and talking with other coaches.

Coaches are constantly trying to improve their teaching and coaching methods in an attempt to give their players the best opportunity to be successful, on and off the field.

Many coaches have worked their way up from the junior high ranks to reach a lifelong dream of being a head coach, and the reward for many is to be constantly questioned and criticized by parents and spectators.

Watching sports or even playing the game does not make anyone an expert; it takes considerable time and studies just like any other profession one might choose. Coaching is a lifelong learning profession.

Based on all the concerns coaches hear from parents about playing time, playing favorites, picking the same kids who made the team last year, placing kids in the wrong position, etc. It is important to understand that coaches are for kids, not against kids.

In my 25 years as an Athletic Director, I never met a coach who loved winning games more than they loved kids.

Coaches are trained professionals, and although they are going to make mistakes along the way, it is crucial for parents to believe that coaches are sincerely trying to keep the best interest for every child in mind.

Parents need to encourage their child to perform his or her role to the best of their ability regardless of what that role may be. A parent should build up rather than tear down a program or coach.

Successful athletic programs that I have been a part of have communities that are willing to turn their kids over to the coaching staff when they reach the age of junior high and high school athletics. The school community trusts the coaches to turn their children into champion men and women. What is more important than that?

There is an old saying in coaching that states, “That is coming from the dinner table.” What it means in coaching lingo is that the attitude a child has taken on, be it negative or positive, comes from conversations around the dinner table.

If the parents sit around the dinner table second-guessing the coach or running down other players, then that negative attitude will likely be reflected in their child.

Just the opposite holds true for positive dinner table discussions. If the parents are supportive of the coach and other players, then that attitude will likely be reflected in their child

I recall a commercial from a few years ago where a man was giving a customer a tattoo on their arm. The person receiving the tattoo kept telling the tattoo artist what to do and how to do it. Frustrated, the tattoo artist paused and said, “Hey man, stay in your lane. I know what I’m doing, trust me.”

I think that’s great advice. I took on a new job this past January and I have learned to stay in my lane until I get a better idea of what I’m doing. I ask a lot of questions, I watch, listen, and learn. Eventually, I might get enough confidence to change lanes, but until then I’m going to trust the process and those who know what they’re doing because they have done it for years. It would be foolish for me to think I know more than they do…. because I don’t.

Sometimes it’s best to listen to the advice of the tattoo artist. “Hey man, stay in your lane. I know what I’m doing, trust me.”

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Todd Howey is a columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose articles appear on Fridays. Email comments to [email protected].