I heard a sermon about thirty years ago that I still think about today. The preacher was not much older than me, but he spoke as if he had learned what he was sharing the hard way. He began, “I think if Jesus came back to earth physically and could only say one thing to us, he would tell us all to mind our own business. He would look at us, point his finger at each one of us, and say – insert your name here – mind your own business.”

Those few short sentences have resonated with me ever since. The longer I live, the more often I tell myself, “Todd, that’s really none of your business.” So, I choose not to offer my opinion or get involved, and by doing that I don’t make it my burden and risk getting punched in the nose. I don’t want to make their problem my problem, I’m busy enough.

Minding my own business can be a tough balance though because I genuinely want to help others. If I see a person on the side of the road changing a flat tire, then I may make that my business if I felt like they needed help. I believe in a situation such as that, my involvement is welcomed, and possibly being welcomed is the key.

The preacher went on to share a story about an experience he had when he stuck his nose into a place where it did not belong. He had a friend who was struggling in a relationship, so he felt the need to offer advice and direction. “My friend looked at me and said, “Oh, wow, I didn’t know you were an expert on my life. Should I be taking notes?’ After he said that, I knew I was out of line. I should have minded my own business. If he wanted my advice, then he would have asked for it. He didn’t, but I offered it anyway. It wasn’t welcomed; therefore, it was not received, I only made things worse.”

I don’t believe people should live in a box and not concern themselves with others. If we all lived like that, then nothing collectively would be accomplished. There would be no sense of community and brotherly love. We need each other. There are times when one should raise their voice, express concern, and stand up for what is right. But even that can be hard to do at times because not everyone agrees on what is right and wrong.

My middle son Hunter shared an incredible story a few weeks ago. He and I were driving back from a movie, and he said, “I did a good deed today. I was at work, and I saw a lady digging through the dumpster outside my window. I went outside and gave her money.”

I was shocked because Hunter is extremely tight with his money. He still brings up that I owe him from a lunch he paid for years ago because I forgot my wallet. Plus, for him to experience the urge to get involved was heartwarming.

“I gave her that fifty – dollar bill I had in my wallet from my birthday. I told her she needed it more than me.”

Hunter has Asperger’s and that type of compassion is uncommon. Where did that come from? He could have ignored her, but he didn’t. He wasn’t sticking his nose into her business; he was being a Good Samaritan. It was sincere and no audience was needed. There is a difference between making it your business and sticking your nose in someone’s business. Hunter didn’t quiz her why she was digging through a dumpster. He didn’t offer advice on how she could turn her life around. He didn’t condemn her for her actions and tell her she is only reaping what she had sown. He made it his business to help, then he left. That is a beautiful thing.

I ignore most things, but I will step in and try to help in some things. Not with advice, but with unconditional love. If they ask for my input, then I will offer it, but not until then. The only advice I can give originates from mistakes I’ve made and what others have told me when I’ve asked for guidance. I don’t have any answers.

Maybe that preacher is right, and Jesus would tell us to mind our own business. It does appear a lot of time is spent these days on people telling others how they should live their life. I remember my grandmother telling me one time that I had no say in her house because I wasn’t paying the bills. Made sense to me then, and still does today.

I’m gonna defer to Apostle Paul, “Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands.”

Just because you live a quiet life, does not mean you won’t make a bunch of noise. Hunter proved that.

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Todd Howey is a columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose articles appear on Fridays. Email comments to [email protected].