A few columns ago I promised you an excerpt from my Time Travel book Ice Neon (which was once published under the title Osage Two Diamonds as a sequel to Kurt Vonnegut’s masterpiece Cat’s Cradle.) This one will be fun because it’s likely that most of you didn’t read that column, and you’ll be as confused as usual. But the thing about good writing is, you really don’t need any context. You don’t even have to understand what is being said.

I’m not saying this is good writing, I’m saying that it is something I wrote.

Ok, in this snippet it’s just after the bit in the last chapter where I unveiled that it’s very possible that Stephen King and Dr. J. killed Kennedy. Our main character Sam has just escaped death in the Time Travel elevator which is operated by a cool guy named Rayford who is taking Sam back in time to meet Thomas Edison. Edison’s company GE controls the elevator and the Time Cops who want to kill Sam and anyone else who mucks around in time. Don’t worry about all that bit… the context doesn’t matter, remember?

Sam and Rayford have to hang around in the elevator for a bit to depressurize or they will bust open like watermelons, so Rayford takes the time to preach a little…

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A Rayford Trewolla Littlejohn Soliloquy after the Dr. J. Story

After Rayford told me the Dr. J. Story, I asked him if we could get off of the elevator at that point. I found myself very eager to be free of that claustrophobic space.

“Not yet,” was what he said. “In time, in time,” is what he also said. Then he went on a fascinating soliloquy that I went and wrote down almost immediately after I got to Dr. Edison’s laboratory and could procure some paper and a writing implement. I’m glad I didn’t get off the elevator before Rayford gave me his speech. Not just because I didn’t want to bust open like a watermelon. His speech was important to me. He gave it in a sing-song way, well-practiced and firmly assertive. His unique way of speaking gave weight to the words…

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“You can be forgiven for thinkin’ that the process of time travel taking place in somethin’ as pedestrian as an elevator (if an elevator can be called pedestrian) must be a purely technological feat. But I assure you that it is not. Most people don’t want to be admittin’ that science and religion are usually trying to describe the self-same things. Religious folk don’t like to fiddle aroun’ too much in the details, because they fear that facts on the ground might disprove some pet theory or doctrine they hold. Facts scare holy folk, yes, they do.

“Now, science-minded folk have a problem all their own. They don’t mind tellin’ you that somethin’ works. They might even show you the technical process by which somethin’ happens, or even the laws that make it work. Take photosynthesis for example. Photosynthesis exists, and it works. Hallelujah! Good thing too. Yes, yes! There are multitudinous ways to examine the process and to come to understand the benefits. Observation, scientific method, peer-reviewed studies, and whatnot. Things like that. What they can never tell you is why somethin’ happens…why some law seems to be in effect. I say, ‘Them are the rules!” and you say, “Who made the rules?’ That’s just the way it goes. Everywhere else in society, when someone tells us somethin’ is a rule, we say, “Well, who made that rule?’

“I mean, why is a law a law? That right there is a question for whole ‘nother field of study! Why does photosynthesis happen? Scientist-man can’t tell you why there is a bug that uses photosynthesis just like plants do; he can only tell you that there is one that exists. Oh sure, don’t get me wrong, Mr. Sam! They loves-loves-loves to point at necessity. They think necessity just makes stuff happen outta the blue. We need to stay stuck to the planet, so gravity just works because we need it to. That’s just foolish talk! Necessity ain’t the answer to why! Hunger alone never made a man a sandwich! Not in the real world!

“This elevator is a time machine, and that’s crazy enough for one day’s thinkin’. That it works is one thing. How it works is one thing more. Why it works…well, that’s a whole ‘nother thing altogether. Because there are rules that govern this machine, and me, and you too. I drop a rock down this elevator shaft, and it drops down. Not up. Down. Automatically. Every time. Straight down. Because on this earth, with our atmosphere, gravity is a rule. Them are the rules. I didn’t make ‘em. You didn’t make ‘em. He’s a fool, though, that says no one did.”

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Michael Bunker is a local columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose columns appear periodically on the website.