I was watching a movie last week where a husband and wife were having a conversation about a crisis they were experiencing. The husband had been laid off from his job putting a serious financial burden on his family.

They had the usual; kids, mortgages, car payments, etc., and without his income, making ends meet was going to be rough until he found work again. The wife was working a part time job, and she told her husband that she could easily go full time. Her boss had asked her on several occasions to go full time, but she had declined because of their three young children.

The husband quickly shot down that idea because he did not want her to carry anymore load than she already was.

His wife looked at him and said, “Hey, we agreed a long time ago that we would show up for each other. Well, I’m showing up.”

That statement jumped off the screen at me because there is nothing complicated about it.

“I will show up for you.”

I have family and friends in my life that will show up for me. I know that to be true because they already have throughout my life. At times they physically walked through my door, at other times it was a phone call, a text, a handwritten note, or an email, but they showed up and I knew they cared.

It is easy to show up for a winning team, but what about when they are losing, and the season is falling apart? It is miraculous how many people all of a sudden claim to have been lifelong Texas Rangers fans after they won the World Series this year. You could have tossed a grenade in outfield bleachers at a Rangers game two years ago and not hit anyone.

Anyone can show up for others when things are going well, it takes a bit more commitment to show up when they are not.

Show up for people when they are happy, show up for people when they are sad. Show up for people when they are winning, but more importantly, show up for people when they are losing. Show up for people when they are not around and are being criticized in a conversation. Don’t let others run your friends down, show up for them. Show up for people when you have the opportunity to build them up without them ever learning about it.

I have been given opportunities to show up for others when they were not around. Sometimes I was there for them, other times I wasn’t. I have wasted opportunities to fill the gap in people’s lives and I regret that.

From what I can figure, successful relationships, both professional and personal, are a direct reflection of whether or not those involved are willing to show up for each other when times are tough- and keep showing up until they can’t show up anymore.

My mother died at the young age of 57. On the day of her funeral, I was in my room putting on my tie, as I turned to walk out the door, there stood one of my best friends from high school. I had not seen him in years, but there he was, I had no clue he was coming. I hugged him like I loved him. I thanked him for coming, and he replied, “Your mom was like a second mother to me.”

I don’t remember much about that day, but I do remember my good friend showed up for me on one of the saddest days of my life. I have never forgotten it.

“Show up for people, in and out of their presence. Offer what you can. Be unselfish. Love people when they need it, even when you feel they don’t deserve it. Be a healer. Be kind. Because when you’re hurting, you’ll want someone to show up for you.”

– Alex Elle

I need to get better at showing up for others, how about you?

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Todd Howey is a columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose articles appear on Fridays. Email comments to [email protected].