Going into my senior year of playing high school baseball, I thought I was the best baseball player in the state of Texas. I had good reason to believe that. I had led the city of Houston in several hitting categories the year before.
There is nothing wrong with thinking you are the best, the problem for me was that was all I cared about.
I remember seeing baseball scouts – professional and college – sitting in the bleachers to watch me play. At our first game of the season, there were 12 were present. I know because I counted them. To say all that attention went to my head would be an understatement.
I had little concern if we won or lost; my playing well was more important than the team winning. I was focused on myself, and the more I focused on myself, the worse I played.
What I learned from that experience is that you will never be all you can be as long you cannot see any further than yourself.
I went from being a National Blue-Chip prospect to a struggling high school suspect. The scouts quit showing up and my name was no longer in the newspaper.
It is a lonely feeling when a selfish player suddenly needs a friend or a teammate to help them through a struggle. At the season’s end, I played way below my potential.
When you live your life as if it is all about you, then chances are you will end up with just you.
I was not the player I was a year before and I know the reason why;
As a junior, the success of the team was more important than my personal success. I relaxed and had fun.
As a senior, my personal success became more important than the team’s success. I put pressure on myself and had no fun.
I was selfless player as a junior, selfish player as a senior. Lesson learned.
Throughout my life, I have discovered that being selfless is quiet and attractive, whereas selfishness is loud and nauseating. I have also learned that being selfless requires a certain type of neglect, but not in a negative way.
You may not get the credit or recognition you feel you deserve, and you need to be able to shoulder that.
We are born selfish. Babies are the most selfish human beings on the face of the earth. It’s all about what they want at that very moment.
I have yet to hear any young mother or father brag about how unselfish their newborn is. Babies do not care if you are getting eight hours of sleep, they want fed, and they want fed now.
As we age, we decide whether to be selfless or selfish. I do want to be considered as someone who is concerned with the needs and wishes of others. At times I do okay at that, other times, not so much.
But here is the balance, we all should be self-centered about what we want to accomplish in life. I do not think others will call you selfish for believing in yourself and pursuing your dreams, but if in pursuit of your dreams you neglect the well-being of others, then that is a different story.
Stay focused on what you want in life without losing focus of what’s important in life.
“Good teams become great teams when the members trust each other enough to surrender the ME for the WE.”
– Phil Jackson
Be willing to be the last person in line to eat, and then being okay if they run out of brisket before you get your plate.
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Todd Howey is a columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose articles appear on Fridays. Email comments to [email protected].