I watched my two great nephews play a T-Ball game a few days ago. It was exactly what I expected. Oversized uniforms, kids wearing their hats backwards, not sure where to stand in the batter’s box or how to hold the bat. When the ball was hit, comical chaos ensued.

Nobody kept a score because nobody cared. At that age, teach kids to love the game. Parents were positive, coaches encouraged the kids, it was perfect.

Athletics – like other extracurricular activities – teaches character, or at least they should. I know from experience that if coaches love kids more than they love winning, then character will be taught. In my opinion, I would rather lose with character than to win without it.

Positive things will happen, and life lessons will be learned from participating in extracurriculars if kept in perspective.

Fewer than six per cent of high school seniors in the United States will play a sport at the college level. Of that six per cent, less than two per cent receive an athletic scholarship. Nearly all athletic scholarships are partial, only covering a small portion of expenses. Those are the facts.

Perspective: Academic scholarships are plentiful, athletic scholarships are unlikely.

In the present time of 12-year-olds being treated like professional athletes, and coaches and parents mistreating game officials, perspective can get blurred.

Some of the ugliest incidents I dealt with in my 22 years as an Athletic Director stemmed from parents losing their composure at a game and doing something they regretted later.

The following is a reminder – written by kids – that I would send out to parents every year.

DON’T from kids to parents.

1. Don’t yell out instructions at me.

During the game, I am trying to concentrate on what the coach says and what we have been practicing on. Don’t try to get my attention.

2. Don’t put down the officials.

This embarrasses me and I wonder if the official is going to be tougher on me because my parents’ yell.

3. Don’t yell at me in public.

It will just make things worse. I will be worried that you are going to yell at me the next time I do something wrong.

4. Don’t yell at the coach.

When you yell at the coach, it puts pressure on me because I know you are angry. I believe my coach cares about me and wants what is best for me and the team.

5. Don’t put down my teammates.

Don’t put down my teammates who make mistakes. It hurts our team spirit. I make mistakes too, and you don’t want parents putting me down.

6. Don’t put down the other team.

When you do this, you are not giving us a very good example of sportsmanship, so we get mixed messages about being good sports.

7. Don’t lose your cool.

I love to see you excited about the game, but don’t lose your temper. The attention is supposed to be on us. Don’t come onto the field unless a coach invites you, and please don’t ask to speak to my coach after the game about me.

8. Don’t lecture me about mistakes after the game.

Those rides home in the car after the game are not a good time for lectures. We can talk later if necessary. Don’t ground me for missing a fly ball.

9. Don’t forget how to laugh and have fun.

Sometimes it is hard for me to relax and have fun during the game when I see you so worked up. Even before the game you can stress me out. I need you to relax!

10. Don’t forget that it’s just a game!

I’m probably not going to make a career out of playing sports. Please don’t attach my self-worth to how I performed on the field. I’d rather forget about it and move on., so should you.

Enjoy the ride with your child. Extracurriculars will be what you decide to make it. When it is all over, be able to look back with your child and agree that it was a good experience. Life lessons were learned, and they are better for having participated, whether they were stars or not.

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Todd Howey is a columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose articles appear on Fridays. Email comments to [email protected].