I attended a funeral several years ago for the father of a young man that pitched for me when I was coaching baseball at West Texas A&M University.

His father was 52 years old and lost his battle with cancer as did my mother at about the same age. I could feel his pain.

But one thing for certain is that the father produced an outstanding son. Today he is a successful high school baseball coach, father, and husband.

Many of his ex- teammates, my ex- players, were in attendance. I was out of coaching, but I couldn’t help but reflect on how I treated those young men when they played for me.

I was hard on them; some more than others, and what seemed so important to me at that time did not amount to spit at that funeral.

I quietly took a seat in the back of the packed church; his teammates were sitting in reserved seats next to the grieving family

As I sat there, the funeral director whispered in my ear, “Your players would like for you to sit with them.”

It completely caught me off guard.

Sitting down next to a young man that played for me, he grabbed my knee and said, “Coach, you need to be sitting here, you’re one of us.”

I was sitting next to 12 of my ex- players that didn’t hate me for being tough on them.

I got in the faces of more than just one. I did all I could to get every ounce of effort out of them. Some of my methods worked, some didn’t. I had given them ample opportunity to hate me at one time or another with my tactics.

I made mistakes as a coach, and to this day I still regret the way I managed some situations and players.

I have to believe we all are a bit embarrassed about the way we handled  things in the past. I am, and that’s how I learn.

All of the players attending received their degrees and had solid careers. Many had married and a few already had children.

Sitting there I was reminded that relationships are the most important thing in life, and at times like this is when they become powerful.

It is not the number of games you win as a coach, or how much money you make, or what title you have after your name, it still boils down to how you treat others.

I was proud of my ex-players, and I was even more proud to have been their coach and it had nothing to do with winning games. They have no idea how grateful I was that they asked me to sit with them.

But more importantly, I was moved that they had learned what one of the  most important things in life is; being there for a teammate/friend in time of need. I can only hope playing for me had a little bit to do with that.

Winning in sport is temporary, but that time I spent with my ex-players on that sad occasion in Friona, Texas gave me a sense of thankfulness that will stay with me forever.

The longer I live the clearer it becomes, life is about relationships, especially with your family, everything else is a distant second.

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Todd Howey is a columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose articles appear on Fridays.