The great UCLA Basketball Coach, John Wooden defined success as “the peace of mind attained only through self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you’re capable.”

Coach Wooden knew in order to get the most out of his players, he had to be a teacher first and lead with and humility. He took the time to invest in each individual player, fostering relationships to achieve the “peace of mind” of giving their best individual effort for the team. Simply put, he was an expert at getting people to “just do the best you can.”

I can remember going to visit a friend of mine that had just landed his first collegiate head baseball coaching job. He was a bit over his head in his new role and was having a tough time managing his players.

He made the comment to me, “By God, they may not like me, but they are going to respect me. I will demand respect.”

You can no more demand respect from others than you can demand love. They may act as if they love you for a while, but without a solid foundation of mutual trust, it will crumble. Do you want others to respect and love you? Then respect and love others.

I discovered that walking around with a big stick and running my mouth did not garner respect. It only created an environment of disgust and non – commitment.

My friend did not ask me for my advice, but I did offer some. I said, “Hey, get over yourself, it’s not about you. Maybe you should demonstrate some humility. Try being a servant to your players and see what happens.”

The reason I offered advice to him is because I received the same exact advice earlier in my career from a mentor, and it made a significant difference for me.

Humility is not a weak and timid quality, and it is certainly not a groveling spirit, but there is an honest pride that is powerful and endearing to others.

Hearing my advice, my friend rolled his eyes and said “I ain’t serving nobody, it’s my way or the highway. If they can’t handle it, they can leave.”

Can you imagine the type of success John Wooden would have had with that attitude?

One of the greatest and most courageous leaders in the history of the world is George Washington. The British said that when George Washington was on the battlefield, he acted as if he enjoyed the sound of bullets whistling past his ears.

Historians will tell you that Washington’s greatest quality, one that separated him from the rest, was his humility and his sincere servant attitude towards his troops and his country.

Washington was a great leader because the men under his command did not fight for him, they fought with him. He led with the power of humility; strength restrained. He did not think less of himself, he simply thought of himself less by thinking about his troops and country first.

Men marched barefoot through knee deep snow for miles because they believed in his leadership. If George – The Father of our Country – Washington did not demand respect, then why would a baseball coach, or anyone else in existence think they can?

I love what James Baten wrote about George Washington.

“No man ever before rose out of the mass of the average people to such power, without abusing it, and history searches in vain for a military leader so much of whose life had been spent in the camp, and whose will was law to a grateful nation. Who voluntarily resigned his rank and chose the humble, peaceful occupation of a farmer. Entrusted with supreme power, he never abused it, and laid it down, at last, more cheerfully than he had taken it up. He was truth that feared no investigation.”

My coaching friend eventually had an uprising with several players threatening to quit if the environment of disrespect did not change. After several player meetings and eating a large slice of humble pie, he regained control of his program. He realized it, learned from it, and became better for it.

I am pretty certain if roles were reversed, John Wooden would be on the one-dollar bill and George Washington would be in the Basketball Hall of Fame.

They earned respect by demonstrating humility and not considering themselves better than anybody else. Both men were whole and undivided within themselves, the definition of integrity.

Don’t be afraid to eat a slice of Humble Pie. It can be very nourishing as long as you don’t spit it back out.

I have realized in my life that it requires much more courage to lead with humility than to lead without.

***

Todd Howey is a columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose articles will appear on Fridays.