Without a doubt the greatest bit of advice ever given to me is this simple statement. “You have got to be the same person up or down.” It is a pretty basic statement, but it rings loud and clear in life.
When I began my career as an Athletic Director in 2000, I started the practice of writing an email to my coaches every Monday calling it “Thought of the Week.” The goal was to simply encourage coaches and provide a few ideas to help them build their programs.
I developed the S.P.U.D. acronym (Same Person Up or Down) when I was serving as the Athletic Director in Canyon, Texas. I wanted others, including myself, to never forget this simple piece of advice and how it relates to the most important thing in life, relationships.
Out of the hundreds of “Thought of the Week” emails I sent out over the years to coaches, and the many “pep talk’s” I had with my teams while coaching and my kids while parenting, being a S.P.U.D. is by far the one most remembered. I have even authored an entire book on this acronym.
I am sure we have all known people, possibly even ourselves, that allow their circumstances to dictate the way they treat people. A true sign of maturity is when you can be the same type of person when things are going bad as you are when things are going good.
It takes no courage whatsoever to be an encouraging and positive person when everything in your life is going well. It is when you are stuck on a losing skid that you cannot seem to get stopped when people see your true colors.
There is an old saying in baseball that you should always “leave the game between the lines.” In other words, do not take it home with you. What happens at work should stay at work, and just because things did not go well for you that day does not give you the right to take it out on those that had nothing to do with it.
When I was playing college baseball, my parents often drove several hours to watch me play. One game I had a horrible day striking out twice in crucial situations and even misplayed a routine fly ball. We lost by one run.
When my parents and I met for breakfast the next morning, I was pouting about my performance from the day before. I sat there shoveling hash browns into my face paying no attention to their conversation and their attempts to engage me in it.
I let my poor performance on the field spill over into my relationship with my parents. I was doubling my disappointment by passing it on to them, hoping to get pity, but where is the value in that?
Unknown to me, our pitching coach was sitting across the restaurant and witnessed my childish behavior. Later that day as we were warming up for our next game, he approached me and proceeded to tell me how immature I was to act like that.
Actually, he pinned me up against a chain link fence with his forearm and got nose to nose with me. With a cheek crammed full of Red Man chewing tobacco, he unleashed a profanity laced attack explaining to me how my parents had traveled several hours not just to watch me play, but to spend time with me because they loved me. He asked me if striking out a few times in a game gave me the right to treat them so poorly. He then ended his verbal assault with a “You need to grow up Howey!”
I stood there embarrassed, and guilty as charged. I remember that incident like it was yesterday. I remember exactly what he said, I remember how it made me feel, I can even remember the smell of chewing tobacco being blown in my face. He was right, I was wrong. That lesson changed my life
If I could go back, I would simply thank my parents for coming to my game and supporting me. I would tell them that even though I was disappointed in how I played, I planned to have a better day today and I am glad they were there to support me.
That would have been the adult thing to say, unfortunately I lacked the maturity to act like one.
Treating others based on results is foolish and counterproductive. You will never gain the support of others by acting like a poor, pitiful soul when things do not go your way. My parents had nothing to do with my poor performance, so why in the wide world of sports would I treat them as if they did?
Be the Same Person Up or Down. Be a S.P.U.D.! I have learned that when I treat others the same regardless of the outcome, then I am modeling a maturity that strengthens my character and values those around me.
S.P.U.D. Defined
Same; identical, no different, exactly similar
Person; human being, one of people, regarded as a single individual.
Up; in a cheerful mood, times of good fortune.
Down; a period of unwelcome experiences or negative mood.
S.P.U.D.; An exactly similar individual in times of good fortune or unwelcome experiences.
In life, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but even still people are much more important than wins and losses. Being an S.P.U.D. allows freedom for personal growth and relationships to blossom. Plus, it is absolutely no fun to be around a person that is on an emotional roller coaster all of the time. Nobody wants a ticket for that ride.
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Todd Howey is a columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose articles will appear on Fridays.
