This week, we will be registering Kiera for Kindergarten. It’s just so crazy how time flies. It was just the other day that she was learning to crawl, walk and to say the word “no.” Now, I am lining up eye exams, school clothes shopping, and all the other things that go along with getting ready for the first of school.

She is very excited about being a Lion this year. We already have a cheerleading outfit for her to wear to the games and several Lion t-shirts added to her wardrobe.

I’ll be honest though. The biggest hurdle that I see us facing when school starts is…getting the child to school on time. I’m not great at getting going in the morning but I know at what point I have to kick myself in the rear and move.

My poor Kiera is another story. She is not, not, not a morning person. Not a morning person, unless it is the weekend, then she wakes up on her own and is ready to play.

Let me just give you a brief rundown of how the morning usually starts. I make coffee, hop in the shower and then proceed to do my hair and makeup. During the hair and makeup portion of the morning, I deliver coffee to Aaron and warm chocolate milk to Kiera.

Now, this is where it usually gets fun. Picture this.

Kiera is snuggled under her favorite blanket and is completely out to the world. I flip on the hall light so that she has a stream of light but not actually blinding her with her bedroom light. Then I grab the iPad and find a cartoon that I think she might be interested in.

At this point, I am usually carrying on a conversation with myself. It goes something like this; “Good morning, Kiera. What would you like to watch this morning?” As I ask the unconscious child lying in her bed, I flip through the movies on the iPad, naming off different titles to see if I get a response. There is none.

“Oh, look! I think this looks good!” I say out loud. I pick a movie, make sure the volume is turned up and push play. It’s always very important to start at the beginning of the movie when the introduction song plays. This is the only thing I have found so far that can crack her eyelids.

After her eyes have rolled back in her head a couple of times and she manages to focus on the iPad, I hand her Quack-Quack and the chocolate milk.  “I’m going to go and finish getting ready… I’ll be back soon to get you and get you ready, ok?” I usually phrase it like a question, but never really expect an answer at this point.

As I turn to leave the room, I tell her, “I love you.” This phrase usually gets a response, but is almost always muffled by the chocolate milk. It usually sounds like, “I muh ew moo.”

That concludes phase one of waking Kiera. Phase Two is where things get a little more dicey. This phase involves actually making her move out of her bed. Now, I don’t blame her. I don’t want to get out of my bed either. In fact, my snooze button and I are fast friends for that very reason. But, I know that if I don’t get out of bed, my boss would not be very happy with me. He outweighs my affection for my snooze button.

Kiera on the other hand, does not understand the gravity of us being late yet, so Aaron and I take turns prodding her out of bed and into our bedroom. It is a dicey situation. Almost like poking a bear. You have to be careful at this point, because unlike a bear, she won’t necessarily growl, but she will cry. Once there are tears, you can kiss any chance of being on time out the window.

After making it past phase two, we come to phase three. It’s not as dicey, but if you can get past phase three, you are almost always past the cranky Kiera stage. phase three involves brushing her hair. There is not a good way to do it. We have a special tangle free brush, we have tangle free spray… but somehow I still manage to find tangles.

Now, I know what you are thinking… we made it past phase three and we are in the clear. No. That’s not how this works. Now that you are through phase three, she is usually happy, but this is where she slows down and fills you in on random facts.

Here is a recent example “Okay, baby. Go brush your teeth so we can go,” I tell Kiera while putting on my jewelry.

“Okay,” she says as she turns for the bathroom. Then she stops and turns back around, “Did you know what Ziggy did last night?” From here, she fills me in on the details of her story. I patiently wait for a break in the story before trying again.

“Okay, go brush your teeth. Hurry, hurry!” I say.

“Okay… but when is my birthday?” she asks. Sighing, I answer and push her towards the bathroom. Finally, after many other questions, comments and diversions we make it out the door.

I’m not sure how we are going to manage when school rolls around. We may be going to bed at 6 p.m. and waking up at 4 a.m.

Rowonna McNeely is a graphic artist for Willie’s T’s Screenprint & Embroidery.  She is a mother of a five-year-old girl and step mother of two adult girls. Her crazy life includes a dog, Sloane and psychotic cat, Gracie. Both females. She is married to her prince, who is outnumbered by the opposite gender.